His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
