She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
