So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
