i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
