she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
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It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
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Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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