Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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