Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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