either way he was missing a nipple.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
