Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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