Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
