I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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