I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
