Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
