You're completely useless in the revolution.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
