trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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