I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
