if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
