It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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