Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
