my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
