there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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