Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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