omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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