If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
