Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
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Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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