oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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