you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize