she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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