but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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