They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
