i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
