That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
