They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
