we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize