I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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