i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
