Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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