so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
