do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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