Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
