he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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