3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I need a beard to bite.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
