Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
