Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
if i can run in heels then i can drive
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
