How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
