he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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