why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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