For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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