So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
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i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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