When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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