I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
