is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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