im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
