You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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