Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I need to align my fucking chakras
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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