I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
