how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
