I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize