the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
