The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
