i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
