Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
