the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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