walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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