you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
